In 2020, I came to the realization that I had lost myself. Not only did I not like the person who I had become, but I struggled to conceptualize what it was that made me, me. I was living an inauthentic life and it was manifesting in ways that were damaging to my mental and physical well-being.
I had no real sense of self and struggled from an incredibly low self esteem. I lacked motivation and interest in nearly every aspect of my life. I had no direction or substance in my life. I felt lost and out of touch with who I was as a woman, a wife, and an individual. It wasn’t long before I realized that I couldn’t continue living such a shell of a life. So, I decided it was time to wakeup and take a serious evaluation of my life to determine how I could find the way back to my true self.
Waking Up
COVID-19 happened and all of a sudden the world slowed down. I was lucky to have the capability to leave the job that I was miserable in and find a new position. My new job was much more aligned with my interests and allowed for an increased amount of flexibility. It was definitely a painful salary hit, but my husband and I managed to work it out because we both knew something had to change.
This was the turning point for me and the catalyst that eventually set the wheels in motion for self improvement. I slowly began to come out of hibernation mode and regain a healthy perspective on life again. Nearly a year later and I am proud to say I have successfully lost the weight and the emotional/mental baggage I had been carrying around for years.
It was a tough journey that required a lot of work, but I want you to know that’s possible to regain control over your emotional state, your physical state, and your life (even in times of chaos). I know how overwhelming this can feel at times, which is why I’ve compiled 5 tips I took on my own journey. I hope they help you as much as they helped me.
“I slowly began to come out of hibernation mode and regain a healthy perspective on life again.”
Step 1 – Conduct a Life Audit
A Life Audit is an exercise where you take some time to seriously reflect on yourself and where you are at in life. It’s an opportunity to turn off the white noise in the background and really zero in on how you feel. It works best if you are unapologetically honest with yourself and is now my favorite method for organizing my thoughts. You can download my free Life Audit PDF here to get started today.
Set Goals
Once you’ve completed the Life Audit exercise, it’s time to move on to the goal setting stage. I recommend doing this in a journal but it’s totally up to you. I would just make sure these goals are tucked away somewhere safe and easy to access when you want to look over them again.
When I’m creating goals, I like to put them in buckets. The first bucket will be representative of mental or emotional goals, the second physical goals, and the third professional or educational goals. An example could be – I want to become more emotionally resilient, pickup running again, and write a book about my childhood experiences.
Create an Action Plan
Once you’ve determined these goals, your last step is to create an action plan for accomplishing them. I recommend starting with three action items per goal per bucket. It’s important to define exactly how you will go about accomplishing each goal rather than have an abstract bucket list for yourself. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Thoroughly develop a logical explanation for why you want to accomplish these goals and how you will get there. It’s much easier to stick to a plan when there is tangible direction for how you will accomplish what you set out to do.
Step 2 – Expose yourself to Positive Messaging
There is more and more research proving how a positive mindset can have real value in your life and impact your physical and emotional well-being in incredible ways. I didn’t realize how much I struggled with this until I began to focus on sussing out all the negativity from my daily routine. I was able to increase positive influences in my life by prioritizing three things.
1. I completed a thorough social media audit
A lot research today advises abstaining from social media altogether, but I tend to disagree. I think social media can be a great way to build inspiration and connect with like minded people who have diverse perspectives. My advice, though, is to censor the living daylights out of all your social media platforms. If you’re in the process of losing weight but feel terrible when you see an influencer post a sweaty gym sesh pic, you might want to unfollow them for a little bit. You don’t need their 30 second workout clips for educational purposes. You can find any and all of that information on google without the thong bikini pic attached. Comparing yourself to others is draining your positive mindset and counterproductive to any change you want to make.
2. Move your Body
I started my weight loss journey with walking because it was all I could during the early stages of the pandemic. It was something that was easy to do and free. I’d walk my dog around the woods behind our complex and spend that time listening to music, podcasts, or just being silent. My waistline went down and my satisfaction with life wen tup. I really enjoy my AM walks with my dog, Noodle. Not only are they relaxing but it brings me joy to see Noodle having fun.
3. Listen to Podcasts
Ok, this may be the piece that had the largest impact on my shift to a positive mindset. If you aren’t listening to self improvement podcasts now then I highly recommend “On Purpose with Jay Shetty.” His series is incredibly uplifting and informative without being corny or boring. He also has a lot of medical experts and psychologists weigh in on common self improvement topics, which is helpful for those of us who need more of a methodological approach.
Step 3 – Invest in your Self Care
There was a two or three year period of my life where I stopped investing in myself. I gained a lot of weight and stopped putting effort into my appearance. I would look in the mirror and not even recognize the person staring back. I stopped wearing clothes I once loved and participating in activities I enjoyed because I was embarrassed.
No one is going to take care of you better than you. While the work that’s being done on the inside is important, we can’t forget the outside. It can be very difficult to make positive change in your life if you neglect yourself. So drink your water, get your 8 hours, and take your vitamins ladies!
You can also use this opportunity to try new looks or update your wardrobe. I spent time constructing a new style that was focused on being cute, trendy, and comfortable (because hello, quarantine). Cutting your hair or even styling it different can help too. I finally ridded myself of the side part – middle part for life!
Step 4 – Create your Own Space
There is something about having an area that is just for you to reflect, educate, and heal in. It’s ideal if this space could be combined with activities you enjoy. For example, if you are someone who enjoys self-care, perhaps the bathtub is your place to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. For me, I enjoy writing, so I created what I like to call my writer’s nook.
If you have a room in your house for this type of environment, it’s even better. Maybe it’s a craft room, a mediation space, an art studio or back patio. Pick a spot that you designate as your own and become a creature of habit. Use this area to conduct your life audits, your journaling, your reading and self-educating. If one of your goals is to finally become a certified yoga instructor, maybe create an at home studio with all the essentials and comforts that you need. There’s something about creating and curating an actual space for yourself in life that can drastically impact your journey.
Step 5 – Pick up a Hobby
Last but certainly not least, find a hobby. This may even be something you already have written down in your goals. Hobbies are not only a great way to decompress and find some enjoyment, but they teach us new things about ourselves. For a lot of us, work and kids have a way of mentally fatiguing us to the point that we can’t possibly think of spending more time exerting extra mental energy on any unnecessary activity. I am here to tell you that it’s so important in life that you do.
Little Kid Fun?
I never knew the importance of having a hobby until I joined my husband for a day of paintball. Yes, you read that correctly. My grown, adult husband thoroughly enjoys paintball. I found it a little ridiculous until I went and saw for myself. While I’m not much of a paintball fan, I am a fan of seeing the people I love happy. He could hardly contain his excitement on the drive to the paintball field and when we got there, we joined ranks with his friends and the fellow 12-year-old boys who were plotting their strategy for success. My husband spoke with an excitement I hadn’t seen from him since high school. It warmed me to see him like this. Afterwards he told me that paintball was the closest thing he could find that was reminiscent of what he called, “little kid fun.”
I realized it was a concept that had long since escaped me and tried to recall the last time I had “little kid fun.” You know, that heart pounding, tangled hair, sweaty palmed, “little kid fun”? It’s the kind of fun that leaves you breathless on the trampoline with your friends, bouncing and flipping through the air without a shred of caution. It’s the rush of adrenaline you get from soaring high on a swing set and getting the sudden urge to jump. It’s the anticipation leading up to Christmas morning.
My Parting Advice
I really began to dig in my childhood nostalgia and asked myself the question, “what did I use to enjoy doing above all else?” For me, it was two things – writing and reading. It’s one of my reasons for the creation of this blog. I practically came out of the womb wanting to write, but life got busy and I found reasons not to do it. So my last piece of advice to you is this: find a hobby, preferably something that allows you to have “little kid fun”. I think you’ll find it’s much easier to stick to and maybe even appreciate it a little more now that you are grown. There’s something about reconnecting with your inner child when you’re lost that seems to really help you in finding your way back home.
jenhunterwrites 
This is a very interesting article! Have a wonderful day!
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Thank-you so much! I hope you’re having a great day 🙂
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So inspiring! Thank you.
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